Expectation v/s Reality

The basic premise of Learning Disability (LD) starts with the discrepancy between the expectation and reality of the performance of the child. The child seems capable and hence the reality of her/his academic performance does not match the expectation or the potential. This seemingly stark difference between the child’s potential and performance, leads multiple people to make efforts to bridge that gap. It all starts with trying to bribe, then punish, then blame and finally shame the child in order to make him/her reach the expectations that are set by the parents or teachers. The pursuit of achievement and denial of reality leads to multiple failed attempts in trying to see improvement in child’s performance and multiple successful attempts in trying to break the child’s independence, self-esteem, and resilience.

If the child is lucky, s/he may be in a school, which has a resource room or an experienced counsellor. In such a case, the child might get noticed by these professionals and supported by them & can undergo an educational assessment. The assessment can throw light on which area/s of child’s abilities are contributing to the current underperformance. So, the identification of Learning Disability is a feat by itself to bring some relief to the child. While all this is extremely helpful in pointing out the problem areas, this also brings its own share of fresh expectations into the situation. The combined efforts of the special educators and parents to help the child overcome the challenges, they may ignore the current realities of the child. The enthusiasm for remediation & involvement of parents to support the child may mar the child’s other abilities and strengths.

So, to summarize, it is important to know that it is easy for the adults, in child’s life, to identify the ‘weaknesses’ or problem areas of the child. Once the ‘problems’ are established as LD, it is easy to find a special educator and start remediation. What is not easy in the whole process, is to remain patient with the child; to support the child; to stay with the child’s reality of abilities and strengths and put a hold on expectations that all adults have put on a child’s performance; to stop seeing and comparing the child in the background of successful people with LDs, like Walt Disney, Einstein, etc.

If the child has LD, look for strengths but don’t build high expectations on the strengths. Stay real with the child’s current abilities. The hope is that all children feel positive about themselves, are able to navigate the social experiences, and are honest with their work and skills. Give your love and support to the child and trust that the child will build his/her own new realities that will make him/her positive, resilient, and open to new experiences.

Written By:

Sonal S Raja

Special Educator